it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
