You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
