I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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