I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
