come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize