i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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