I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
