Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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