i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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