The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
