God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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