maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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