She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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