Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
