worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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