who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize