Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
