Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
