I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize