So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
