I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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