I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
