Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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