batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
