You really coming over, don't trick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
