i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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