Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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