wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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