He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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