That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
