it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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