She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
