We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
