Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
