remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
