I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ladies don't puke and tell
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
