Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
