Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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