So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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