But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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