Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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