You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
