this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
