I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
