Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
