Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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