Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you had me at cake vodka
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
