chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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