My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
