She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
