I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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