im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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