Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize