Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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