i permit you to call me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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