My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Even my vagina gasped.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
