Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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