Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
