Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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