Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
