the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
