so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
