Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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