one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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