Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
