And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
