I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
