If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
