Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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