we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
