His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
