Cold hands, warm shart.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just want to make out with him forever
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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